Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Ruslana Korshunova: excerpts from her blog

The suicide russian top model, Ruslana Korshunova kept a blog where she used to posts some of her feelings and impressions. Here are some excerpts so we can analyze them and maybe this will help to tell if it was a real suicide or if there are some russian speaking dark forces around this deadly scene. Are we talking about conspiracy or just a tragic event?

Apr. 6
I think that women can constantly can love men, when they are real. When you say give me and receive. After that, you give in yourself.
P.S. Give in meaning your soul. Because he is so strong, he can do everything.

Mar. 31
i'm so lost..will i ever find myself?..

Mar. 20
boys..why are you so silly?

Mar. 19
if you don't get lost, there is a chance you may never be found..

Mar. 18
life is very fragile, and its flow can easily be ruined.

Mar. 18
Why, sooner or later, love will die. What is even worst is if it will end earlier for my partner than for me.
It really hurts when someone stops loving you but you continue to love.
What's more important, to love or be loved? I can't seem to decide this question for myself. Overall, requited, real love is a big rarity.
If you build you relations only on that real requited love, you can sit through life in loneliness. Even the strongest love can disappear without a trace after a year, and then what? Reason says that it is better to be loved, but in life, we love more often than we are loved. To love, especially without return, is very hard, painful and takes away from the soul's strength.
My own fault ... that I allowed in... my own fault... that i fell in love ... my own fault that i didn't allow to spoil me ... my own fault ... that i allowed my heart to be broken ...my own fault..
i wonna be with u!only u!i wonna share my life my bed with u!only u!i wonna love u!only u!!!

Mar. 11
don't hate me, I'm asking you, I feel it with all my heart, that we are close to each other like no one else on this earth..don't be silent, i'm asking you..don't be silent..My soul is missing you ... return, turn around, smile...my dear, bright, little sun..i can't breath without you, I think about you every minute..
I know what is it..I know why my other relationship didn't work out..cos i'm unpredictable...why r u afraid of it..?
my dream is to fly..oh my rainbaw is too high..

Mar. 7
people stop fighting..angels are crying...we can be better!..love is the answer!!
Why trample on my love

Mar. 6
A girl once asked a guy, does he think she is cute. He said no. She asked, would he want to be with her forever, and he said no. Then she asked him, if i left, would you cry and his answer was no. She heard enough. She turned around, to leave, tears running down her face. The guy took her hand and said, "You are not cute, you are beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever, I HAVE to. And I would not cry, if you left, I would die.
there's disorder! i don't have a home. I need an boss for there to be order

Feb. 18
If I am for others, then who is for me? And if I am for myself, then what am I for?

Jan. 30
I gave love and forgave hurt
Hid pain in my heart in anticipation of the miracle
You came again, you burst in like a bird
Forcing me to love and afraid of forgiveness
I forgave you like it was not once
Returned to you into the abyss of the gentle eyes
You left again, leaving in return
A castle of pink dreams and ruined walls
I gave you warmth, forgot about everything
Gave all that I had, only you didn't notice

Jan. 24
It hurts if someone took a part of me, mercilessly tore it out, stomped all over it...threw it out.

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